When the news is awful

By Kathryn Sharpe

There are days when it hurts just to be human. Days when turning on the news fills me with dread. And these days I want to somehow shelter my child and the young people in my life from the heartbreaking reality that surrounds us in our world.

Yet young people are growing up in this world and need to learn how to navigate these issues and still keep their full humanity: war in Israel and Palestine, climate devastation, migrant deaths, unearthing children’s graves at Native residential boarding schools, school shootings and police violence, among so many others. And youth often feel them even more intensely than we do as adults.

So rather than shielding them, we best serve young people by helping them in an age-appropriate way to digest the issue in their minds and bodies. In another blog, I offered guidance for adults on ways to manage hard conversations and issues when they arise. But how can we help youth process the world’s and their own pain when they feel it in their hearts and bodies? 

As caring adults we can help young people in our lives learn to process suffering, whether their own or someone else’s, while keeping their hearts open and compassionate. Compassion is "the warm-hearted concern that unfolds when we witness the suffering of others and feel motivated to relieve it".  Compassion is caring and proactive, and it does not mean taking on the suffering of others in a way that can become distressing or overwhelming.

How can we do this?

• We can play an important role as co-regulators with youth. If we can start by managing our own emotional response of grief or fear, we can help young people around us to regulate themselves, as well.
• As humans, our ability to stay grounded in compassion is largely influenced by our vagus nerve, a key part of our central nervous system that facilitates our sense of connectedness with others. We can cultivate compassion and our ability to hold complexity by using deep belly breathing. That doesn’t seem realistic with youth in your life? Deep belly laughter stimulates it, too.
• Encourage opportunities for them to discharge the stress/trauma. This can be through physical exercise, sports, music, crying, talking, art or writing. Remember to play and share in their play. Let them know that joy is essential, too, without guilt.
• Mindfulness is a powerful tool for dealing with strong emotions and helping us to keep our heart open. For some young people, sitting meditation can feel scary or uncomfortable, especially if they have experienced trauma. Mindfulness through activities may be more accessible–those that are movement-based, such as walking meditation or a more active form of yoga, or activities that naturally create a space of focused attention such as art, crafts, or some sports.
• Limit repeated media exposure, if at all possible. For youth with their own devices, create times for them to disconnect and be present with others around them or the natural world.   
• Support compassionate engagement. Help young people find a way to take action to make even a small difference on the issue they are concerned about. This can reduce feelings of helplessness or hopelessness and fosters a sense of empowerment which can actually encourage them to stay compassionate. Young people are born attuned to the suffering of others. They only become apathetic if they get overwhelmed or learn that they are powerless to do anything about it.

When the world’s events seem overwhelming to the young people in your life, how can you support them to stay grounded and compassionate?

-- Kathryn Sharpe, Extension educator

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